always darkest before dawn

•February 2, 2016 • 4 Comments

Just yesterday I was planning a post. I was planning to tell you I just can’t keep writing right now. It’s too hard, I’m in a dark place, please pray. But I couldn’t even do that. I took the pack n’ play down last night, I couldn’t see it open and empty anymore. Once the holiday rush was over everything just came crashing down and it was hard, so hard.

Then this afternoon happened. The phone started ringing, again (did some law change in the new year, I have gotten a ton of sales calls in the last few weeks!) “ITS JUST A NUMBER MOM, WE DIDN’T ANSWER IT” was screamed at me. Then I hear “it’s a 407 number, those are local numbers…blah blah blah.”

And I froze. Now as soon as I heard 407 I thought THIS IS IT! But I will also say I thought that when my sister called two hours before and just about every other phone call I’d received since Christmas. So yeah, there’s that.

But this time I was right! They wanted to have both Bycemaster and I on the phone at the same time to tell us, so we had to finagle around and get logistics going for a bit since he was at work AND in a meeting. But we got it worked out and they told us we’ve been picked :)

I will admit I started crying and maybe shaking, just a little!

Our little girl should be here by the end of the month! Our whole little family is thrilled.

We are not at liberty to share too many more details as she is not legally ours yet, we have just taken the next step on the journey to that day.

Please continue to pray for all of us as we meet birth mom and plan arrangements to bring home our little girl. Pray that things continue to go smoothly until things are legally complete.

And if you are able to give, we still have some money left to raise. We’ve gotten most of our support in person, but you are more than welcome to use the fundly as well! We are so very close, any help would be appreciated, no matter how small.

https://fundly.com/neil-joy-s-adoption-fund

As always we, especially me, so value your support and prayers. We are praying, hoping, and expecting things to go all the way to completion with this match. But even if they don’t I know will be happy to have shared knowing you all will support us through either outcome.

More to come, but I need to go set back up that pack n’ play :)

Happy New Year!

•January 4, 2016 • Leave a Comment

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you were all able to rest up after the holidays. Our vacation is over, or intermittent holiday crazy stay cation would more accurately describe it. Today is back to regularly scheduled programming. I’ll admit, yesterday I was dreading it just a little. Today I’m so happy it’s finally here! School will happen this afternoon, chores have already happened this morning. The kids are happily playing (school ironically) with each other before they have to start school this afternoon and I’m getting to sit down and get some work done.

square

This meme is so me it’s a tad ridiculous. Yay routines! They are back.

My physical head is still screaming that taking away our sugar was a bad bad idea. The caffeine too! You’re killing us over here! I’m on day three of a near constant headache and fatigue even though I’ve been sleeping. But it’s a dull roar today and my mental head is ecstatic! The too much excess too much sugar too little normal overwhelmed and dull feeling in my mind is finally gone.

I’m ready to tackle all this paper work and appointments again. I’m ready for everyone to have clean underwear in their room (as opposed to the dryer) again. I’m ready to not be sore after a run because it’s a normal occurrence. I’m also ready to sit down and make up some goals for the new year, as daunting as that feels this year.

So lets go!

Are you ready for the year? Still trying to get out of the holiday funk? What are your goals and hopes for the year?

back at it again

•December 28, 2015 • Leave a Comment

It’s Monday! Look at me I’m actually writing. We are still off from school and now that the holidays are over I’ve been gleefully organizing and putting my house back in order. It still looks like a bomb went off, but it’s mostly the regular play bomb. Not much of it is the influx of stuff that nobody knows where it goes bomb. Progress people!

We had a good Christmas. We did not do near the things we usually do. No looking at major light displays, we walked the neighborhood throughout the month instead. We didn’t get to baking cookies, but that also means we didn’t eat as many! I didn’t get all the decoration out and put up, but now I have less to put away.

We didn’t do shoe boxes or volunteering this month, which I was pretty sad about. However, we did still take the kids to buy presents for people other than themselves. It has been encouraging for me to see them learn to think about the person they are buying for as they get older. It started with buying the toy they wanted and reluctantly giving it to the other person, admittedly, we still do have some of that going on. Then we moved to buying the toy they wanted, but it’s the color the other person likes! This year there was some genuine thinking of other people going on. The older ones particularly were actually buying things they noticed another person needed or had expressed a desire to have. It was encouraging for me. Especially since we did not do any of the many opportunities to give as a family that are around during the season. We will go back to volunteering next month. Learning to give is better taught as a year long lesson anyway.

Now that the holidays are done, it’s back to the grind. We are due to renew all our medical checks and back ground checks and finger prints and the like for the adoption. It’s already been a year since we were doing all that. Then it’s back to grant applications and tax season! Yippie!! Where is that sarcasm font when you need it?

But lets have some fun first. Play a game with me!

What were the top three gifts you gave and got this year?

I’ll go first.

Top three gifts I gave:

  1. The apron for my little baker
  2. The calendar of funny photos for Caroline
  3. The Skyrim soundtrack for Bycemaster

Top three gifts I got:

  1. My new running shoes
  2. My fancy new metallic and watercolor pencils for my secret garden coloring book
  3. This shirt from Bycemaster (as he is fully bearded up once again!)women_s-once-you-get-go-beard-tank-top---black

Tag you’re it!

a brief baby update and a big girl dances

•December 14, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I’m breaking radio silence. Briefly. We (read I) have dealing with a bit of an emotional upheaval the last few weeks and have not really been in the frame of mind to write. Things are still sort of in limbo and I’ll share more when we know what’s going on, but for now.

Here’s our brief update

We heard from  one of the other grants, and we were declined. This one was kinda of expected because they prioritize their money to people with no children first. But it was an easy application and we went for it anyway, oh well.

I had a birthday, it was low key and nice. The kids got me blue hair, new pens, rubber grippers (for those pesky jars my sore hand has been having trouble with lately) and straws with spoons on the end. Minus that last one, which I’m pretty sure was just for them, the others were all very thoughtful and insightful gifts for me. Maybe they are listening more than I realize. I also got a beautiful new journal from Bycemaster, very much looking forward to that.

Our Jena had her dance recital this weekend as well. She was in dance when she was in preschool, but preschoolers just kinda sway back and forth and spin in a circle for their recitals. This was actually real dance and she did amazing. I’ll claim credit for her love of dance, but she got her physical ability from her daddy. Just to clarify Bycemaster used his in sports, I’m sure he’d like you to know, same difference to me! Regardless, it made a good combo :)

Here she is afterwards.

IMG_4265

That’s all for today! We gotta run, ’tis the season!

hair results are in and done, finally!

•November 16, 2015 • Leave a Comment

So the color results are in! I’ve always been a fan of purple, despite it’s repeated mixed results on my head. But purple and cobalt blue tied on the poll so, for you guys, I gave it another shot.

We kinda mixed the blue and purple, hoping to make the purple last a little longer. It has been known to begin fading before I even wash it. But if any of you see me in person, you know, tomorrow, and it already looks faded, you’ll know my experiment didn’t work. I also skipped my run this morning so I didn’t have to rinse or wash my hair. Just to enjoy it another day. Priorities people.

IMG_4168

Side note: the bleaching step of this process was the most ridiculous in between I have ever had. I’ve had to bleach my hair lots of times, color will not show up on  my hair otherwise. Each time I think, that’s kind of ok. I could live with that for a bit, and then I put color on top anyway.

This time I looked in the mirror after I washed the bleach off and screamed holy lord cover it up quick. No you will not be getting a picture of that. It was awful, but it was just a means to an end, but it was so awful. Think like cheetah on crack bad. You know it’s not just you freaking out when you walk down the stairs and your sister busts out laughing. Sisters keep it real people. But the end result I am happy with, so as Pete the cat says, it’s all good.

IMG_4170

If you’ll allow me a second side note, we are three hours into day two with no eye twitch! I feel this is cause for celebration. I have never had an eye twitch last over two weeks before. I’ve never had one last more than one day before. But I’m so hoping it is gone for good.

Anywho I’m off to go fill out our DCF paperwork, again. I’m putting it out there. I’m mailing it today. It is going to happen. Till next week.

10 gifts for the month of November

•November 11, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Traditionally people spend the month of November growing beards and listing things they are thankful for. The fact that I am thankful indeed that Bycemaster’s beard is back is just providential. There’s been many years I’ve participated, in the thankfuls, not the beard…but this year I decided to pass for some reason. I don’t know why, generally I try to cultivate a thankful atmosphere around here. I’d say it’s one of my guiding principles, if you will.

This morning the amount I have to be grateful for hit me so hard I just couldn’t help but write a few down. Remembering these things is not always easy. I’m struck when reading the old testament how many times God has to tell people to remember. Over and over, monuments were built and prophets were sent, we are a forgetful people.

For this reason I am sharing my list today. Writing helps me remember. I encourage you to remember and write yours as well! In the comments, facebook, in your journal, on your walls! Ok maybe not that last one, unless you have a chalkboard wall! Gratitude is really a wonderfully powerful thing, sometimes you just need to force it a little, to get the ball rolling.

  1. I am so grateful for Bycemaster and our joint love for music. So many songs have memories attached to them that make us both smile, that’s a wonderful thing.
  2. I got up for the second day in a row to do a morning run. I’m not training right now, just trying to finish out a just almost out of reach goal for the year. It’s getting a little closer 94.6 miles to go. Deep breath.
  3. It was cool out on said run this morning! Like no sun and 60s, it was wonderful.
  4. I’ve watched more than one friend recently take steps towards goals that have been hanging over them for a while. I LOVE watching people do this, pumps me up. Goals are awesome!
  5. Taking a shower with short hair is amazing. No heavy hair, no hour to wash it, no mess, no fuss, it’s done. Low maintenance FTW!
  6. Stress levels are returning to a normal/manageable level over here, some days we are breathing again. That is improvement.
  7. Even though I’d taken back too many chores in my uber stressed state, the kids have adjusted to the flow back to them with surprising grace, even my oldest. This is huge.
  8. Bycemaster got the second PC up and running for school on Monday. It has been amazing! So much faster and yesterday ALL FOUR got full lessons done. It’s incredible really, and look at me, I’m even on the computer. I may get some more grants done yet.
  9. My plea for coffee grounds was headed! One by one, my little plants are being nourished. It’s fun to watch something thrive.
  10. As always I’m thankful for our community. As I look back at the last week and think of the people who have sent messages saying they’re praying for us or responded to my pleas for prayers or made sure I exercised or just hung out and made me feel human again. I am always grateful for the people that are around me and my family. We have been in dry periods before, but I am so grateful we are not there now. Not at all.

What are you all thankful for? Do you do the November thankfulness tradition?

how to laugh when life is burning you out

•November 2, 2015 • Leave a Comment

It’s Monday! Time for blogging! And I have nothing for you. Just more of the same old same old. As I sit here trying write amidst the rousing game of pokemon going on at my feet, I wonder how I ever concentrate enough to do this. My candy addled brain can barely hear myself think over all this noise. Who knew Pokemon was SOOO EXCITING!!! Well, actually, I knew. You probably did too if you have kids in the 5-11 range.

There is no baby update this week. I have done nothing. Well that’s not true, Jena and I have been working on what will be the girls’ room. She’s got all her clothes moved over. We got her new bed set up and ordered curtains and a curtain rod and are almost done with their dresser. I have orders coming all over the place these days. I even finally ordered bottles, go me! When all the room orders get here I’ll post some pics. Jena girl is not even tempted to sleep in said room yet, but she does like to talk about it and even play in there sometimes.

It’s been a nice, non stressful project for us. I’m still physically feeling the effects of burn out. Mentally I’m feeling much less stressed, but my body does not seem to have gotten the memo. I have developed this lovely eye twitch, 6 days and running and it’s still there, reminding me of all that’s left to be done.

Oh and our homeschool blog was down this morning when the children woke me up an hour early. I eventually found the back up the creator put up, so it’s all ok, now. Now to get rid of the 2 hours worth of adrenaline when I thought I might have to recreate our entire years lesson plans. Eek!

So this day is in need of a bit of a reset. Here’s my attempt.

  1. Bycemaster got us a new computer, it’s almost set up. Days where everyone is actually done with school and it is NOT dinnertime are in my future! Thank you baby!
  2. We did a family clean again this weekend, it’s usually an every weekend thing. Not a one happened in October. The level of nasty over here was getting depressing. So while it’s not clean, it is manageable again and that makes me very happy.
  3. We got a free keyboard so the kids can start piano lessons. Yay for expensive items for free!
  4. The missing adapter for the keyboard while ordered, is not here yet. As I watch them happily banging away, I am super grateful it is still in its soundless state.
  5. Finally and this one makes me super happy. Jimmy Fallon makes # vidoes.

I’m gonna go watch some now, you can join me! I have watched way more of these than I’d like to admit. This one is still my current favorite.

Then please tell me, what do you do to de-stress? Tell me please!

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 701 other followers