So I took BOTH kids grocery shopping today, by Myself. I usually make a point to Never do that, so I’m pretty sure this was the first time…grocery shopping at least…which is the worst kind…well clothes shopping is pretty bad too, can’t imagine THAT one with two kids in tow…still pretty sure grocery shopping wins the day, but I digress.

We went to Publix, primarily because they car carts that hold TWO children and still have room for your groceries. How can this be you ask? Two kids AND groceries, why it’s because they are the Expedition of shopping carts. And I might add that I never wanted an SUV (of any kind) for the same reason I hate these carts, they’re HUGE. Talk about a lane hog, and turning…yeah you can forget about that one. You either try to make a normal turn and clip half the endcap (that’s the pretty display at the end of an aisle for those of you who are not ex-retail employees) off or you’re a Mack truck making a left turn, and everybody else better just watch out, ’cause I’m bigger than you and I’ll take you down if you get in my way’ (that’s the Mack truck, not me). But it did accomplish it’s purpose. Both children were busy “driving” the cart while I, with great effort, maneuvered them through the store to stock our staples, Milk, Eggs, and Bananas…we cannot go a day without bananas…the monkeys go crazy.

However, I quickly found that we were not the most hazerdous ‘drivers on the road.’ It was the cell phone shoppers! How DO you talk on a cell phone AND push a cart? Think about that one for a minute. You DON’T, that’s how. Most of these people looked so distracted I wondered if they even knew what they were putting in their cart, they certainly didn’t know they were clogging aisles, knocking things over, and running into people. The funny thing was, half of them weren’t even talking, they were just ‘on the phone.’ Makes me wonder if they weren’t just pretending, for cool points or something.

So the scary part, taking the two kids, turned out to be the easiest part. They were both to distracted by their respective steering wheels to scream, cry, pull eachother’s hair, yank things off the shelf, throw stuff on the floor or any number of other things my creative children come up with. The scary part was maneuvering that darn cart admist the cell phone shoppers. Don’t talk and drive people, even if you’re only driving a shopping cart.