So my mother is now totally freaked after my baby appointment this morning. Never thought a thing of it, she likes to go to a few each pregnancy, I had one today, she came…

So it was the nurse midwife today, I’m blanking on her name at the moment…it’ll probably come to me at my 3 AM pee break, most important things in life do. Anyway she’s the one that’s monitoring my postpartum depression issues, since I am still in that period from the last baby (it can last as long as 2 yrs in case you were wondering) and now pregnant also it means all sorts of fun can ensue. The poor lady had no idea what she was stumbling on, I will try to portray what happened below, complete with explanatory comments, because I can’t help but comment…even on my own stuff.

Midwife: so how are you moods doing? are you taking the evening primrose? (I can already see my mother perk at mentioning my moods…)

Me: Yep went right back on after we talked a few months ago, drastic difference, right away. I’d forgotten how much I love those things. (I REALLY do love them, used to take them all the time for period crap too, I’d simply forgotten about them since moving to hippie-less Orlando a few years ago)

Midwife: Great. There’s also something we can do that’s a little stronger, if needed, after the baby. We’ll just keep monitoring things. It’s a real simple all natural blah blah blah (at this point I started to realize my mother was paying too much attention, and I stopped paying attention to the midwife)

My mother: what is that stuff for? did you say depression?

Midwife: Oh yeah, Joy’s like me. Handles the baby’s great physically, but you know mentally it isn’t that great. That’s why we stopped at three it was just too much to handle the aftermath. (rambles on about her depression issues for a bit) You know when the thoughts about driving your car into the tree on the side of the road start coming it’s no fun…hahaha (this isn’t really as bad as it sounds, the two of us had actually joked about that earlier. It’s not like we’d actually do it. It’s just one of those signs you look for after the baby to know to start watching things. If you’ve had postpartum depression or any kind for that matter, I’m sure you get it.)

At this point if you want an accurate depiction of what happened you’ll have to somehow manage to read all of these comments as happening AT THE SAME TIME. Did I mention the kids were there too?

My mother: that’s not funny!

Midwife: It’s not like you’d actually do it, it’s just the thought. (at this point she’s beginning to realize what’s going on)

Grant: I in da garbage can momma! (for the record it wasn’t a REAL garbage can, he was pretending)

My mother: I knew something was wrong with her! I ask her ALL THE TIME! She always tells me she’s FINE!

Me: (sort of under my breath and sheepishly) Mom likes to freak out a bit, I don’t handle that too well, it just makes things worse for me, so I didn’t tell her much.

Midwife: well she is fine, she’s doing great now and we’ll be monitoring things after this baby too.

Grant: Momma! Momma! Look me! I in da garbage can! 

My mother: someone needs to know these things! She has to tell someone! She can’t do this to me, she has to tell me!

Me: (again under my breath to the midwife) Neil will know, he always knows, just talk to him.

Midwife: it’s really ok, this all common, she’s educated about it and knows what to do. There’s stuff we can recommend if she needs it.

Grant: Momma! I in da garbage can by myselves! (as he pushes Jena off the ‘garbage can’)

Jena: *frustrated scream*

My mother: she’s just like her father! I can’t believe she didn’t tell me this!

At this point I must have mentally went away because I don’t remember anymore. Somehow the midwife managed to get her distracted and it all ended fine. I love my mom, she just tends to freak a little bit. I AM ok, no need for her to have to live through the gory details, right?

I’m sure there’s a lesson to be learned here. So someone find it.