Excuse me a minute while I whine.

After the first five pounds I had to break out the preggo shoes, why? Because my back was beginning to protest. Never one to be out done, my heels decided shortly after two could play at this game. I must concede, heels you WIN, YOU WIN. Now please stop the torture. I know I’ve added 20 pounds, with plans for more, to your work load, but it is only temporary they tell me! 

I feel like I’m carrying around an oversized bowling ball with supports designed to hold a golfball, or possibly no supports at all. I know they were there with the first one, I remember them, I think they were abdominal muscles. Yeah, those are definitely gone now.

I also can’t sit for too long in one position the slightest little shift will cause the entire lower half of my body to scream in protest. Like right now, I tried to cross my legs the other direction, bad move Joy. What were you thinking!?

I don’t remember feeling this huge or this heavy this early, and I’m pretty sure that’s not due to baby brain, I really don’t think I did. With each kid it seems to show up earlier. That poor Dugger lady probably knows the moment she conceives because her stomach instantly blows up and she can no longer roll over in bed. 

When I mention my mammoth size people respond that I look so small, to which I wonder what part of me they are referring. I mean even my maternity clothes are getting too tight. Not that I mind! I’ll take it! Even if I believe you to be legally blind or a little off your rocker.  My hips are bigger, my thighs are bigger, even my cheeks are bigger. That is of course not mentioning the enormous stomach that blocks the site of everything north of my navel, my pretty orange toenails included. It was only a few weeks ago I was able to bend over to paint them, one can only hope I like this color till September because I do not see how I will reach them now.

All that said, I am getting excited to see this little guy whose kicks are becoming so powerful I find myself unconsciously trying to move out of the way. I’m also looking forward to the break when he gets here. As crazy as that sounds, it will be a break, at least physically. I mean it’s not like I’ll be losing MORE sleep than I am now. I’ll also be able to see the little guy, and my toes! It’s a win win I tell you.

In the meantime, even though I’m still ready to go to sleep and it’s only 8:30, I feel better now. I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening, please disregard the groan as I get up and waddle myself to bed.