I hear people tell me all the time, “I don’t know how you do it all!” Mostly after finding out that I have three kids 4 and under and we both work. I’ve often wondered what these people think I do. I’d venture a guess I do less than they imagine. I’ve been mentally tabulating a list of things I don’t do for the next time I get this comment. However I’ve decided spewing this list on the next unsuspecting person that stumbles upon that magic phrase may not be my best option. So you get it instead.

Things I don’t do (Part 1, like that ambition there)

Windows – even when we had a sliding glass door I didn’t clean it, totally futile in my situation.

Floors – I have amazing childcare that sweeps for me! Mopping does not exist. I also had a roomba for the last 3 years, since we moved I’m trying to figure out how in the world people actually do this regular vaccuuming thing, as of yet, I do not.

Dust – now I do occasionally run my hand across something that is look extra nasty, but that’s about it.

Change sheets – this is done when someone has been sick on a sheet…or a diaper has leaked, but usually only number 2. I know that’s gross, but it’s true. I do change pillow cases more often, like once, sometimes even twice a month!

Wash bedding – like the spreads and stuff, yeah not so much. I did however wash them all when we moved, I guess if we move every few years we’ll be good.

Iron – if something happens to make it in that needs to be ironed, it gets worn wrinkly (kids) or it magically disappears.

Pay bills – everything is on auto pay, those rare weird random bills are generally late.

Clean out the car – yeah I actually found a monstrously huge roach in our car the other day, makes sense, he has a never ending supply of food.

Wash the car – Neil takes the main car through the car wash every few months, the other one never gets washed.

Wake up with my children – after three years of waking up between 5:30-6:30 with our kids Neil’s mother managed to guilt him into getting up with them. Which means he gets up, straps the youngest into his chair and starts a video. Then we both go back to sleep, usually for another hour, sometimes more.

I don’t shop for kids clothes.

Most baskets of clean clothes sit for a few weeks before getting put away.

I don’t clean bathrooms, toilets, occasionally, in the downstairs bath, that’s about it.

We have not had a yard that required maintaining in years, so I no longer do yard work!

Also working means I change virtually no diapers, deal with much less meal times, nap times and toy clean up!

I am now starting to wonder what it is I do all day…