Scene: me and all three kids in car. (no daddy or he wouldn’t have made even this far into the song)

You are reading the part of almost five year old Grant.

Please read everything past ‘wait for it’ as if you were being attacked by the biggest tickle monster on the planet and all life on earth depended on your laughter and gasping, do not forget the gasping.

Commence scene:

Twinkle twinkle little…(wait for it)…pee pee!
Poo poo, pee pee, butt and flowers
Butt ate the flowers, my butt ate the flowers
Butt and flowers, butt and flowers
Poo poo, poo poo, poo poo…

(At this point so much talk of poo poo has clearly overcome all ability to sing and you can only laugh uncontrollably. Occasionally making out a ‘butt’ or ‘poop.’ ‘poo poo’ is entirely too much effort at this point. Each successfully uttered word should dissolve you into laughter all over again.)

Repeat indefinite times

End scene

Director’s note: boys