and there you have it…


August 2011

the inner workings of the scary mind

I’ve been head blogging again! This usually happens when I’ve got too much going on to take the time to share or I’ve got tons to share and have no idea if any of it’s allowable on the internet. Most of these have been the later. Lots has been going on in our family in the job realms, which is an area I try to stay away from if I can. So generally those things get processed on my own, with out my little group therapy, did you all forget that’s really what you are?

Here is where I intended to break my own rule. In fact I wrote the whole post and everything, and deleted it. Let’s just suffice it to say I’m in transition, lots of them, Neil is in transition, huge ones and we just had a kid start school this week. I feel like my life is in a whirlwind. I like the breeze, but it would be nice to know if my house is still standing down there someday soon.

I’m also having a hard time with the move, yes again. You probably didn’t even know I was doing good with it for a while. Unless you just amazingly inferred it due to the lack of whining and complaining about the suburbs in recent posts. There are a number of nice things about them. I still love my 7 minute commute to work, and I still feel we did the right thing moving here when we did. It brought the space we needed for the time we were in. Doesn’t stop me from missing our old home/neighborhood/way of life.

This recent ‘homesickness’ has made me discover I don’t do well without challenges in my life. I feel like everything is too easy right now, the job I’m not going into, our lifestyle, our home, and yet I’m totally stressing out about it all. Our home is gorgeous, spacious, what I’m supposed to want, but it bores me. I want something to improve, to fix, something I can leave my mark on. Of course my first part time paycheck arrives on Friday, hello challenge!

And if you’re reading between the lines, this next line shouldn’t surprise you as much as it surprised me. We are actually considering buying again. I’m still in shock to be honest, but it’s true. We’ll see how far we go with it all, but right now we’re looking at moving another 10-15 minutes out of the suburbs toward the city. We’ll be more straddled between our two worlds, close enough to the burbs to still hang out with friends and commute to work easily. Far enough out of the them to get a dirt cheap condo/town-home and be close to family and my entire sense of identity again. I never wanted to pay two mortgages, but it looks like two mortgages, one insanely high one insanely low could work out much better for us than one mortgage and one rent, both more than I want to pay.I have been praying like crazy since we first talked about it, ’cause if Neil really jumps on this, that whirlwind I mentioned above…not stopping for a year.

This entire posts feels like a walking contradiction (yes it has legs and walks around). I don’t have challenges, but life is in crazy transition. I love my commute, we’re thinking of moving further away. Side note: did I mention it finally dawned on me today that it’s my S.A.D.’s season? I don’t know how many years I’m going to have to go through this before I realize it sooner. I was sitting in the park with the kids today feeling the wonderful breeze from the hurricane and it hit me. This is what my life has been missing the past few months, this is why everything has seemed almost unbearable at times.

Oh fall come soon and fix all the madness.

first day of school

First day of kindergarten, do I really need to say more? I don’t have the energy to go into all the bus/school saga that has been going on around here, but it all came to a head today…and then someone chopped that head off…only then to realize that head was mine! So I ran around all day without it only to find it again at 5 and it had a headache, sigh. I’m ready for bed now, but the kids are still messing around and my recently reattached head does not want to deal with it.

Today’s hi’s and low’s at the dinner table.

Grant: my faborite part of the day was playing at the park at school. My sad part was not having a lot of time to play after school (pouty lip)….oh wait no no, my faborite part wasn’t the park, that was just a really good part, it was seeing mommy at my bus stop after school and not having to walk home (sweet smile).

Jena: my favorite part was taking Grant to school! Dat was soooo much fun! (uber excited face) My sad part is daddy not home, he still in Cororado (sad face).

Jacob: Gant! scooo! daddy! (shovels eggs into his mouth…yes we had eggs for dinner)

And of course a few pictures.

getting ready to take Grant to school
Are you excited Grant?
off we go

And he did great. For as nervous as he was the few weeks prior, he woke up back in command this morning. He was completely fine, and I am completely exhausted. May I please be excused?

how to kill your blog traffic in one simple step




So I’ve been busy living life over here. Turns out the more I have to write about, the less I actually write. Also not blogging turns your blog traffic to zilch! nada! nothing!

I’ve clearly not kept you updated on the #sexyback11 challenge as promised. Whenever we left off I had gained back  1/2 pound and the following week I had stayed there and then the next week I forgot all about weighing in and well I don’t even really know where we are now. I was within 1 pound of my goal when I stopped and it seemed like it was over. However, I am now back to lose that last 1.5 pounds before Labor day. Had to take up the entire challenge with those 8 pounds you know. As for working out, yeah haven’t done any of that in weeks, but I do stairs! Lots of stairs, God bless the two-story house. But not eating out has been a huge win. We are doing fantastic in that area. I’ve kept with the e-mealz and we’ve had food that tastes good for dinner, at our house! Turns out it’s much harder to not have seconds when you really like what you’re eating…who knew? Enough about the challenge.

I’ve picked up a few hobbies in the last few weeks. The first is Battlestar Gallactica, OMG. I fear I may be obsessed, even now as I type this my brain is screaming HURRY UP WOMAN! THE KIDS ARE IN BED YOU COULD BE WATCHING BATTLESTAR GALACTICA! We have a few weekend trips we are planning and I am trying not to think about having to go days (like two, maybe even three!) in a row without watching a single episode, it is going to be torture, torture I tell you!

But onto saner things…like knitting! Yes knitting, you heard me right. Despite a myriad of jokes about going grey (which I already am under the dye anyway, so there!) and aging over night, I have indeed taken up the craft of knitting. I find it fun and I can multitask while doing it, which is always a plus in my book. My first project was a little wash cloth, which came out fairly good. The next was a baby doll blanket for Jena. This was a more complex pattern and let’s just say it had a bit of a learning curve, that and they kids got a hold of it one Saturday while I was sleeping and it turns out ripped out stitches turn into holes! learning! Jena, however, was still thrilled with it, and I’m pretty impressed myself. I’m currently working on blanket binding for a blanket for Jacob’s birthday. I’ve wanted to make him a blanket since before he was born. Being a third child he had not a thing made for him, while the other two, a first boy and a first girl, had tons made for them. I am very excited to be able to rectify that. I’ll try to post a picture of it when it’s done. In the meantime, enjoy the picture of Jena and her new dolly blanket. When she say the picture she said, ‘I habs sad eyes.’ I asked her if she wanted to take one smiling and she said ‘no, I like da sad eye one.’

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