I’ve been head blogging again! This usually happens when I’ve got too much going on to take the time to share or I’ve got tons to share and have no idea if any of it’s allowable on the internet. Most of these have been the later. Lots has been going on in our family in the job realms, which is an area I try to stay away from if I can. So generally those things get processed on my own, with out my little group therapy, did you all forget that’s really what you are?

Here is where I intended to break my own rule. In fact I wrote the whole post and everything, and deleted it. Let’s just suffice it to say I’m in transition, lots of them, Neil is in transition, huge ones and we just had a kid start school this week. I feel like my life is in a whirlwind. I like the breeze, but it would be nice to know if my house is still standing down there someday soon.

I’m also having a hard time with the move, yes again. You probably didn’t even know I was doing good with it for a while. Unless you just amazingly inferred it due to the lack of whining and complaining about the suburbs in recent posts. There are a number of nice things about them. I still love my 7 minute commute to work, and I still feel we did the right thing moving here when we did. It brought the space we needed for the time we were in. Doesn’t stop me from missing our old home/neighborhood/way of life.

This recent ‘homesickness’ has made me discover I don’t do well without challenges in my life. I feel like everything is too easy right now, the job I’m not going into, our lifestyle, our home, and yet I’m totally stressing out about it all. Our home is gorgeous, spacious, what I’m supposed to want, but it bores me. I want something to improve, to fix, something I can leave my mark on. Of course my first part time paycheck arrives on Friday, hello challenge!

And if you’re reading between the lines, this next line shouldn’t surprise you as much as it surprised me. We are actually considering buying again. I’m still in shock to be honest, but it’s true. We’ll see how far we go with it all, but right now we’re looking at moving another 10-15 minutes out of the suburbs toward the city. We’ll be more straddled between our two worlds, close enough to the burbs to still hang out with friends and commute to work easily. Far enough out of the them to get a dirt cheap condo/town-home and be close to family and my entire sense of identity again. I never wanted to pay two mortgages, but it looks like two mortgages, one insanely high one insanely low could work out much better for us than one mortgage and one rent, both more than I want to pay.I have been praying like crazy since we first talked about it, ’cause if Neil really jumps on this, that whirlwind I mentioned above…not stopping for a year.

This entire posts feels like a walking contradiction (yes it has legs and walks around). I don’t have challenges, but life is in crazy transition. I love my commute, we’re thinking of moving further away. Side note: did I mention it finally dawned on me today that it’s my S.A.D.’s season? I don’t know how many years I’m going to have to go through this before I realize it sooner. I was sitting in the park with the kids today feeling the wonderful breeze from the hurricane and it hit me. This is what my life has been missing the past few months, this is why everything has seemed almost unbearable at times.

Oh fall come soon and fix all the madness.