I feel like my head is about to explode.

We’ve spent the last two days immersed in the adoption world, we’ve talked to families that have adopted, mothers that have placed their children, case workers, other couples in the process, even a few children who were adopted. My tears were cried for things I’ve long felt for and for things I never even knew I could feel for. I somehow feel so full and so empty, all at the same time.

It was incredibly encouraging and heart wrenching to hear all the stories of the birth moms and the adoptive families. So much joy and so much sadness, right next to each other. It makes sense now, but I really never fully placed myself into the position of the birth mother. Of the options most have, placing their child in a loving stable home is an enormous sacrifice, for the mother. Choosing to have the child. To go through 9 months of aches, pains, nausea and social stigma in many cases. Then relinquishing your child to another home because you know you cannot provide for it. I cannot even imagine. I’m almost ashamed of how I viewed them before, in my ignorance of their heart. Then to hear the families who received these babies and the blessings they have been and the joy they have brought. To see them running around, smiling and getting into mischief, it was amazing. Hearing the highs and lows and everything in between really brought the whole thing home, it’s real. It’s finally happening, some days I still can hardly believe it. I also know that a lot surrounding adoption is controversial, especially where birth mothers are concerned. Again I really don’t want a debate. Honestly, right now I’d probably just cry and shut off the computer for good. I’m so emotionally spent right now I don’t think I could handle it.Too much heavy…

So….time to lighten it up..with a little paperwork! Such a light and fun topic! No one here is daunted and defeated by just a few pieces of paper, with a few hundred words and some blank lines. There’s nothing to be scared of! How do I explain the feelings that come over me when I think of it? Joy! Elation! So many fun phone calls and appointments to set up! I’m simply ecstatic! Dancing with joy! And guess what? Wait for it…


More papers with words and blank lines we didn’t even have yet! Also a CPR class! ¬†Also articles and 4 books to read (well that may actually be unsarcastically filled with joy and elation¬†(also did you know unsarcastically is not an actually word?(I also feel I should continue this parenthesis within a parenthesis trend with an additional parenthesis!)), especially by comparison!). Wow that was fun to read! And so grammatically correct I’m sure a few of you are in fits of joy!

But get this. Not only is there more fun papers, but they take WEEKS to process after we finish with them. Then we have WEEKS of interviews after that, and at least a MONTH of processing when those are done. Then a photo book to make, which should be fun and easily accomplished, especially since I have no experience even making a baby book for our children! It will be great! I’m sure I’ll finish in no time flat. It also gets to be reviewed and edited (few more weeks) and resubmitted and then and only then our fun will be over and we will be placed in waiting. And if we wait to long, we get to do a lot of it ALL OVER AGAIN!

Completely sincerely, the further down this road I get, the longer the road becomes.