and there you have it…


February 2016

baby update

So it’s the last week of February. We have infant carrier installed and bouncy seat washed, even the highchair cleaned up (gross) and reclined for a newborn. We are more set up and prepared than we were before, to now continue waiting again.

Our meeting with the birth mother never materialized and after a long period of radio silence from her the agency called last night to tell us they are considering the match off and putting us back in waiting.

We want to thank all of you who were excited with us and supported us financially and in prayer for this match. Because our match meeting never even happened we are actually able to move ALL the funds forward for the next one, so we are still close to our goal. With just a little more we will be full funded before the baby actually arrives, which would be fantastic.

Click here if you’d still like to contribute 🙂

We heard from the agency last week that the mother had stopped contacting and even though we hoped, we kinda knew what that meant. I tend to live a step ahead (live in the present, I know, I know, I do what I can), so my grieving has happened. Last night was quite honestly a relief. I am sure there will still be patches of grief, but for the moment, we are relieved to know where we stand again and ready to solider on with waiting. We know God has his plan and we do not want what he does not want.

The children took it well. As always, they add perspective to life.

Whew, that’s not the worst that could happen mom, the worst is she would NEVER get here.

Can we still have our sleepover at Papa and Nana’s?

Yes! I can have more screen time. I was going to be so busy taking care of my little sister I wouldn’t have had much. Oh but don’t worry I still want her to come mom!

Please continue to pray for birth mom. We don’t know much about what’s going on, but the situation the lead her to consider adoption at all was not the best. Please pray for peace and safety and support for her. Please also pray for continued patience and peace and joy while we wait. We are in a much better spot waiting now than we were before the failed match, so that is good. As always we appreciate all of you.

We are over here finding ways to enjoy our current stage for as long as it lasts, anticipating it’s happy end, someday.


always darkest before dawn

Just yesterday I was planning a post. I was planning to tell you I just can’t keep writing right now. It’s too hard, I’m in a dark place, please pray. But I couldn’t even do that. I took the pack n’ play down last night, I couldn’t see it open and empty anymore. Once the holiday rush was over everything just came crashing down and it was hard, so hard.

Then this afternoon happened. The phone started ringing, again (did some law change in the new year, I have gotten a ton of sales calls in the last few weeks!) “ITS JUST A NUMBER MOM, WE DIDN’T ANSWER IT” was screamed at me. Then I hear “it’s a 407 number, those are local numbers…blah blah blah.”

And I froze. Now as soon as I heard 407 I thought THIS IS IT! But I will also say I thought that when my sister called two hours before and just about every other phone call I’d received since Christmas. So yeah, there’s that.

But this time I was right! They wanted to have both Bycemaster and I on the phone at the same time to tell us, so we had to finagle around and get logistics going for a bit since he was at work AND in a meeting. But we got it worked out and they told us we’ve been picked 🙂

I will admit I started crying and maybe shaking, just a little!

Our little girl should be here by the end of the month! Our whole little family is thrilled.

We are not at liberty to share too many more details as she is not legally ours yet, we have just taken the next step on the journey to that day.

Please continue to pray for all of us as we meet birth mom and plan arrangements to bring home our little girl. Pray that things continue to go smoothly until things are legally complete.

And if you are able to give, we still have some money left to raise. We’ve gotten most of our support in person, but you are more than welcome to use the fundly as well! We are so very close, any help would be appreciated, no matter how small.

As always we, especially me, so value your support and prayers. We are praying, hoping, and expecting things to go all the way to completion with this match. But even if they don’t I know will be happy to have shared knowing you all will support us through either outcome.

More to come, but I need to go set back up that pack n’ play 🙂

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑