and there you have it…


home study

i do not belong in seatle

If there was ever a doubt that I was born, here, in the sunshine state, for a reason, it was removed this last week. Days and days and days and days and days (and yes more days!) of complete cloudy weather is for all you northern crazies. I don’t care if it’s cold, just give me sunshine! I sat down to blog this morning, but then the sun peaked out and lunch and school were bumped to earlier in the day and moved outside! I had to, you understand. There was a magnetic pull on my poor vitamin D deprived body, it made me go outside. And you’re still getting this post today, so what’s the harm, really? Come on…

But onto important matters, the home study visits are done! Yippie! The fire extinguisher saga is over, it passed! The report is being written up as we speak, they told us it takes 4-6 weeks for a home study report to be finalized, they are, after all, out on visits for a large portion of their job, which doesn’t really lend well to report writing.

In the meantime, I plug away at this profile book, our final step. It is coming along. The progress from last week’s blank book with cover photo and 200 pictures uploaded to this weeks 22 pages of haphazardly thrown together pictures and verbal diarrhea while not done, is definitely improvement! I still need to take park/neighborhood pictures, and this is turning out to be the most difficult part. Again with this infernal weather, pictures of the wonders of your neighborhood and parks when it’s dreary and drizzling and no one is out playing DO NOT WORK WONDERS! See our wonderful home where the sun never shines and no other children live or play EVER. You know you want to pick us! Hmmm…maybe I should make it a satire page and we’ll get a sarcastic birth family and we’ll all live happily every after. It’s something to consider.

the results are in!

Thank you all so much for your feedback on the last post. Most everyone is actually on the same page, when does that ever happen? So weekly it is! I now have to find some way of reminding myself to do it, I may end up with post it notes all over my house again. They actually work fairly well. Except last time my children collected them all from the entire house like a scavenger hunt and created a mural on their wall with them. Yeah…so maybe I’ll find another system.

Tomorrow is our last home study visit! Hopefully, assuming the fire extinguisher passes inspection. Who would have thought a silly fire extinguisher could cause so much stress, not I said the fly! I’m plugging away on our family profile book. I’ve managed to gather way more pictures than could ever fit and yet somehow still don’t have exactly what I want or need when I sit down to put the actual pages together. I’m giving myself the week to take pictures of our daily lives, so those we see on a regular basis, the paparazzi is coming to town! Also next Monday looks like the perfect beach day, so I promised myself we’d go if I got the book done by then.

I’ll leave you with this little gem I found digging through photos. It was our 3rd anniversary, I was 6 months pregnant with Grant. Which is impossible, because look at the babies!

we were so little, also I want my hair short again
we were so little, also I want my hair short again

home studies and head games

So yeah this adoption thing is rolling. Things are speeding up, I feel like I’ve added another part-time job lately. I have only read 1 fiction book this year, and for me, that’s huge. I had to cut myself off so I could get work done. We had our first home study visit this week, yay! It was the next day that I caved and allowed myself one actual good book, finished it last night and was back to work this morning. Made calls all morning and virtually no progress on the adoption. I got a lot of other bills and things paid and ran my head into a hundred dead ends on the adoption front. But things are still drawing to a close, I can actually see the end of our part in this process, I can taste it. 5 days till our second home study visit and then second week in February is the final visit. Assuming I can our homework packet done and wrap up the last to-dos from the home study visit in time, which I will, we will be making our profile book next month. That’s the last step for us. Once that’s done, we’re ‘in waiting’ and we sit around and wait for the call.

And try to find the rest of the money. The biggest chunk is due with the baby. We can’t officially apply for most grants until the home-study is complete, but I’ve started a few applications anyway. They are long, and crazy, and after all we’ve already done, I will eat them for breakfast. So there’s that outlet and then there’s magic and miracles. Not to say those two things are the same, just saying I’d be happy for either of them to come through. Then there’s fundraising, I hear people say things like fund me and kickstarter and normally I’d be all like yes another thing to learn and research about! (yes I know I’m a nerd) But right now I’m more like please someone just tell me which one is supposed to be good for this thing. Anybody? What will work for an adoption fundraiser? Just tell me. Please, please, pretty please.

So now that we are this close, I feel like I’m about to go into labor. I need to have everything ready! AND like I haven’t even gotten pregnant yet all at the same time. One minute I’m researching ways and equipment to re-lactate and the next I’m realizing I still haven’t shown Neil the list of potential names. Part of me wants to have everything prepared and the other part of me wonders how I’m going to handle it if I have EVERYTHING ready and the call still doesn’t come for months and months and months and months. I mean it is a real possibility, but so are the people we met at our training who didn’t even finish their profile book before they were matched or only waiting a few weeks or few months after being put into waiting. It also feels weird getting everything ready for a baby that could be a year or more away still, it makes me feel fake somehow. Like this is all a game of pretend and I’m not really an expecting mom because I’m not pregnant and I don’t know when. I really never realized what a head game this was all going to be.

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