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shopping

how to kill an afternoon

Well that time flew by. It’s like when you’re in wal-mart, you just go in for a few things and before you know it you’ve killed an ENTIRE AFTERNOON.

5 ways to kill an afternoon – the wal-mart edition

1. Go for more than one category of thing (food, tolietires, household items, birthday presents, ect) Seriously though, why else would I be here? Only thing worse than wal-mart is half a dozen different stores in one day, shoot me now.

2. Use couponing apps, in store. Envision blocking traffic for 10 minutes in isles already questionably wide enough scanning every varieties they carry trying to figure out which ones qualify for which offer on which app. But hey everyone else was blocking EVERY OTHER ISLE anyway, so when in Rome…

3. Take the family. I knew better, but I hate shopping and even unruly children distract me from my distaste of the sport I was engaged in. Also my children do well in the store, for 45 mins, as do I. Problem is I cannot do wal-mart in 45 mins, daddy was on good behavior and was our only saving grace.

4. Try to check out. Can someone explain to me why a super wal-mart will have 20-30 isles and only staff 5 of them? Everyone in a non express lane has read #1 and has at least 100 items.

5. Go to wal-mart, cause really, that’s all you needed to do to kill your whole afternoon.

So the next time you find yourself with so much time you just don’t know what to do with yourself and your multiple small children. Well you have your answer! Wal-mart, you can thank me later. Just be sure to buy a six pack to recover with when you get home.

I call this praying mantis

So my mom took one or some of the kids to IKEA a while back (hence why I don’t remember who or how many went!), and they came back with those wooden posable dolls. I’m not really sure what you are supposed to do with them or why my daughter fell in love with them. But she more recently decided hers must be painted. After it was painted, I thought, it must be posed.

I call this ‘praying mantis’

I was laughing so hard I could barely take the picture, but I pressed on through countless blurry pictures, for your sake!

Please somebody tell me they get that movie reference? YouTube is apparently to young for the praying mantis and/or too obsessed with real praying mantises (is that right? mantises? mantisi? maybe? maybe not) for me to find the movie clip. I have now dated myself.

whats wrong with this picture

This is what your lists start to look like when you are always holding a baby with the hand you write with.

Thankfully, after almost 6 years of practice, it is at least legible. Though the almost 6 year old’s hand writing rivals it for neatness these days.

things i don’t do

I hear people tell me all the time, “I don’t know how you do it all!” Mostly after finding out that I have three kids 4 and under and we both work. I’ve often wondered what these people think I do. I’d venture a guess I do less than they imagine. I’ve been mentally tabulating a list of things I don’t do for the next time I get this comment. However I’ve decided spewing this list on the next unsuspecting person that stumbles upon that magic phrase may not be my best option. So you get it instead.

Things I don’t do (Part 1, like that ambition there)

Windows – even when we had a sliding glass door I didn’t clean it, totally futile in my situation.

Floors – I have amazing childcare that sweeps for me! Mopping does not exist. I also had a roomba for the last 3 years, since we moved I’m trying to figure out how in the world people actually do this regular vaccuuming thing, as of yet, I do not.

Dust – now I do occasionally run my hand across something that is look extra nasty, but that’s about it.

Change sheets – this is done when someone has been sick on a sheet…or a diaper has leaked, but usually only number 2. I know that’s gross, but it’s true. I do change pillow cases more often, like once, sometimes even twice a month!

Wash bedding – like the spreads and stuff, yeah not so much. I did however wash them all when we moved, I guess if we move every few years we’ll be good.

Iron – if something happens to make it in that needs to be ironed, it gets worn wrinkly (kids) or it magically disappears.

Pay bills – everything is on auto pay, those rare weird random bills are generally late.

Clean out the car – yeah I actually found a monstrously huge roach in our car the other day, makes sense, he has a never ending supply of food.

Wash the car – Neil takes the main car through the car wash every few months, the other one never gets washed.

Wake up with my children – after three years of waking up between 5:30-6:30 with our kids Neil’s mother managed to guilt him into getting up with them. Which means he gets up, straps the youngest into his chair and starts a video. Then we both go back to sleep, usually for another hour, sometimes more.

I don’t shop for kids clothes.

Most baskets of clean clothes sit for a few weeks before getting put away.

I don’t clean bathrooms, toilets, occasionally, in the downstairs bath, that’s about it.

We have not had a yard that required maintaining in years, so I no longer do yard work!

Also working means I change virtually no diapers, deal with much less meal times, nap times and toy clean up!

I am now starting to wonder what it is I do all day…

black friday at toys r us

So I went to toys r us on black Friday. I was actually blogging while I stood in the horrendously long line, you were going to get live blogging people! But my battery died, so sad for you. I still feel inclined to blog on my phone now though, so this should be interesting, double sad for you. Wait don’t leave!

I’m still not sure what possessed me to try black Friday at an actual store. I’ve done it online, do most of our Christmas shopping online anyway. But last night, while it was still technically thanksgiving (not it’s so early it still feels like the day before, but 9 something or other PM thanksgiving day), found my sister in law and me a couple thousand deep in a line that started at toys r us, waiting for the doors to open at 10 o’clock.

As we were walking with the throngs of people to add ourselves to the end of the line, I posted a typoed status update intended to say I was not sure if I was up for what I’d just got myself into. I didn’t know the half of it yet.

Not to long after we got there, 10 o’clock came and we assumed they opened the doors, we were wrapped around too many buildings to actually see it happen. We started moving forward and not even half way there, the line stopped. Apparently the store was filled, already.

We stood in line for almost two more hours. Oh but we did move again in those two hours, twice! Maybe even 10 yards one of time, ok maybe that’s a stretch.

SPOILER ALERT, we never made it into the store.We were still a couple hundred people from the store when we left. If more than half the line didn’t leave the way we did, I’d estimate we had another two hours before we could start shopping.

We walked outside the line to see the front of the store before we left. They had cops maintaining the peace and the entire front entrance was barricaded by store employees, including a guy standing in the automatic doors to make sure no one snuck in. Crazy.

It wasn’t until the next morning, when Neil came home from the morning sales, that I realized we probably would have been in line another hour to get out of the store as well. Very happy we left, also happy we went.

Next time, if there is a next time, I will have a full battery on my phone. Mercifully I was not alone in the cold.

As my sister in law laughingly said when we got home, it was a bonding experience. So true, and next year, we can find a new way to bond.

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